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Watching the Detectives Lyrics

Nice girls, not one with a defect
Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct
Red dogs under illegal legs
She looks so good that he gets down and begs

She is watching the detectives
Ooh, he's so cute
She is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

Long shot at that jumping sign
Visible shivers running down my spine
Cut to baby taking off her clothes
Close-up of the sign that says, "We never close"
He snatched at you and you match his cigarette
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet
I don't know how much more of this I can take
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake

She is watching the detectives
Ooh, he's so cute
She is watching the detectives
Oh, when they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

You think you're alone until you realize you're in it
Now fear is here to stay, love is here for a visit
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit
Someone's scratching at the window, I wonder who is it?
The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
Who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay
It only took my little fingers to blow you away

Just like watching the detectives
Don't get cute
It's just like watching the detectives
Oh, I get so angry when the teardrops start
But you can't be wounded when you've got no heart

Watching the detectives
It's just like watching the detectives
Watching the detectives
Watching the detectives

Watching the detectives
They're watching the detectives
They're watching the detectives
Watching the detectives
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Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

I have always thought that the wife was the one that shot her husband and his young mistress. She then is all alone and watches the detectives try to recover the bodies. Her husband can't be wounded because he's got no heart seems to be a bit of a joke as he is dead. The first stanza seems to be a discussion as to the young mistress(es) that are also dead. Great song.

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

Ah Elvis, only he would write a piece of music that is a perfect musical film noir. Think about the great black and white detective movies, or even better, Chinatown and then put this song with it. Ambiguous heroes, dastardly women and no real moral losestone - good stuff.

I had to make an account 17 years after this was posted to respond to the inanity of this. Plenty, and it's no exaggeration to say plenty, of songwriters and recording artists before and after this have created work that sounds like film noir. And that is almost impossible not to know.

Not a bad song. Not groundbreaking, but not a bad song.

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

angry wife kills cheating hubby's young (underage?) mistress. frames hubby for the murder. the cops interrogate him till he bleeds (heh-heh) and the wife is the only one who knows where the body is. He cries and cries, because he has no idea, but she thinks it's just desserts.

the detectives coming to check if this victim's description matches another missing persons case, the parents' lost little girl.

the wife is watching all of this, and is lauging to herself, because its just like the detective shows on TV, where she learned how not to get caught. It only took her little fingers to put her cheating husband out of her life forever, and get the ultimate revenge. Probably a divorce and all his stuff.

So..wot ya think?

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

wow, do any of you realize how inane your comments are? Do you really think anyone WANTS to read how much you like this song??! It's like trying reading an american graffitti wall - it means nothing but people just wanting to claim territory as quick as possible. Mindless, talentless tagging. So yeah, no shit - you like this song - otherwise you wouldn't be commenting on it. And how lame to post the lyrics then immediately comment with "fucking awesome song". Come on retard. Did you post the lyrics just so you could show everyone how much you liked it?

Anyway, these lyrics are pretty mysterious, what i get is this hot chick's passively watching a detective show on TV. <i>She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake</i> seems to say something about our callousness as consumers. The last verse is really odd and creepy. It's hard to tell if he's still talking about TV or the girl watching it, - which seems intentional.
<i>it only took my little fingers to blow you away</i> could be about a gun, but also it could be as simple as turning off a TV. Either way, he seems to be implying that the girl died, and was perhaps killed violently/sexually.

Pretty twisted lyrics for a somewhat upbeat song...

[i]"...seems to say something about our callousness as consumers."[/i] And your comment says so much about you, such is its tenuousness! Callousness as consumers, indeed! Ha! Projection, anyone?

Not Valid

@Dave543210 says "And your comment says so much about you, such is its tenuousness! Callousness as consumers, indeed! Ha! Projection, anyone?" Well, you cun't be too careful on the Internet, with assholes like you ready to pounce on the tiniest thing. Ha! Care to expand on your comment, or better yet, the lyric in question?

@Chinup they are just happy :)

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

Whenever I used to listen to this song when I was about nine or ten, I always thought it was about a jealous wife or ex-wife killing her husband/ex-husband and his lover (kind of like the movie Shawshank Redemption, but instead of the husband doing the killing, the wife does it)and after she kills them she doesn't really care or feel bad because all of her troubles and jealousy are over and she can just sit back, relax, and watch the detectives investigating their murders.

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

OK, to the genius who said that "dragging the lake" is innuendo: "Blanking the Blank" isn't always innuendo. Just because Elvis writes about it fairly often doesn't mean that if the meaning of the song doesn't jump out at you in the first five minutes of staring then it's safe to assume its about sexual frustration. Granted, nearly all of his songs have a sexual undertone, but sex isn't always the MAIN theme. And also, LOL at the person who said Elvis is describing himself getting hot and bothered in the line "red dogs under illegal legs." "Dogs" is 70's English slang for "shoes", and they're red. Presumably high-heeled. Their under her legs. They're shoes. I think this song is simply about Elvis watching a movie about a slightly underage female who runs away with a beau, when the detectives come and mistake the situation for a kidnapping. Elvis also seems to be getting a little hot and bothered during the movie, invoking a touch of sadism, another theme common to Elvis Costello's music.

Yeah, "dragging the lake" means the detectives are dragging nets through a lake in an attempt to find her body.

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

the last verse of this song is extremely good. I think it clearly depicts a stalker breaking into the home of his stalkee and murdering her. But the other verses seemingly don't give the impression that anything untoward may occur, they just depict a woman sitting watching a detective show. Very creepy but also very good

Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

I have always (untill reading your far more co-herant and logical thoughts) believed this song to be about corrupt police officers beating up men who had hit prostitutes.

Think 'La confidentual' Russle Crowes character.

I agree. Having worked in a domestic violence shelter for a couple years, my mind went right to that. The scene unfolds: obvious references to the sex industry, "illegal legs" and "nice girls, not one with a defect". In the second verse, we hear how "he" abuses his power over the girls:("he snatches at you and you match his cigarette"), and that at least one of them is underage. I'm not sure about "dragging the lake" - is it the "daughter's disappearance"? Perhaps our villain has murdered her and thrown her in the lake? As for the observer, watching the...

Not Valid
Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

I feel it took a miracle to get you to stay...

Obviously, begging and pleading for a woman to stay with him...

...but it only took my little finger to blow you a way.

He later gave her a handjob and she had a fantastic orgasm.

He's an emotional wreck but very skilled lover. This sort of stark personality contrast is quintessential Elvis Costello.

I think this is more or less right on :)

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I never gave much thought to the meaning of the lyrics because the tune/beat is so great and the words sound so cool - I'm inclined to think it's about an underage Lolita. It's pretty fun to watch older videos of this on youtube - some have a pretty credible dub/reggae feel - and I think that's RAD :)

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The movie imagery is very cool and has me wondering what if any movie or show is the inspiration for this scene?

Also how can you beat "she's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake" - you can't!

The little finger reference is definitely about sex and not a gun except figuratively. Just watch any of the 1977 and 1979 live videos and I think that will become obvious.

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Cover art for Watching the Detectives lyrics by Elvis Costello

Yeah, ok this is what i think of this song. I think its about a Detective who is looking out for prostitutes [she looks so good that he gets down and begs]. He then picks up a girl, and turns on her and shoots her [Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay, it only took my little fingers to blow you away]