The Booklovers

"this book deals with epiphenomenalism which has to do with consciousness as a mere accessory of physiological processes whose presence or absence... makes no difference... whatever are you doing?"
Aphra Behn: hello
Cervantes: donkey
Daniel Defoe: to christen the day!
Samuel Richardson: hello
Henry Fielding: tittle-tattle tittle-tattle...
Lawrence Sterne: hello
Mary Wollstonecraft: vindicated!
Jane Austen: here I am!
Sir Walter Scott: we’re all doomed!
Leo Tolstoy: yes!
Honoré de Balzac: oui...
Edgar Allen Poe: aaaarrrggghhhh!
Charlotte Brontë: hello...
Emily Brontë: hello...
Anne Brontë: hellooo..?
Nikolai Gogol: vas chi
Gustav Flaubert: oui
William makepeace Thackeray: call me 'William makepeace Thackeray’
Nathaniel Hawthorne: the letter ’a’
Herman Melville: ahoy there!
Charles Dickens: london is so beautiful this time of year...
Anthony Trollope: good-good-good-good evening!
Fyodor Dostoevsky: here come the sleepers...
Mark Twain: I can’t even spell ’mississippi’!
George Eliot: george reads german
Emile Zola: j’accuse
Henry James: howdy miss wharton!
Thomas Hardy: ooo-arrr!
Joseph Conrad: I’m a bloody boring writer...
Katherine Mansfield: [cough cough]
Edith wharton: well hellomr james!
DH Lawrence: never heard of it
EM Forster: never heard of it!
Happy the man and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say ’yesterday’s dead & gone - I want to live today’
James Joyce: hello there!
Virginia Woolf: I’m losing my mind!
Marcel Proust: je me’en souviens plus
F scott Fitzgerald: baa bababa baa
Ernest Hemingway: I forgot the....
Hermann Hesse: oh es ist alle so häßlich
Evelyn Waugh: whoooaarr!
William faulkner: tu connait william faulkner?
Anaïs Nin: the strand of pearls
Ford Maddox Ford: any colours long as it’s black!
Jean-Paul Sartre: let’s go to the dome simone!
Simone de Beauvoir: c’est exact present
Albert Camus: the beach... the beach
Franz Kafka: what do you want from me?!
Thomas Mann: mam
Graham Greene: call me 'pinky' lovely
Jack Kerouac: me car’s broken down...
William S Burroughs: wowwww!
Happy the man and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say ’yesterday’s dead & gone - I want to live today’
Kingsley Amis: [cough]
Doris Lessing: I hate men!
Vladimir Nabokov: hello little girl...
William Golding: achtung busby!
JG Ballard: instrument binnacle
Richard Brautigan: how are you doing?
Milan Kundera: I don’t do interviews
Ivy Compton burnett: hello...
Paul Theroux: have a nice day!
Günter Grass: I’ve found snails!
Gore Vidal: oh it makes me mad!
John Updike: run rabbitrun rabbitrunrunrun...
Kazuro Ishiguro: ah soold chap!
Malcolm Bradbury: stroke John Steinbeck stroke JD Salinger
Iain Banks: too orangey for crows!
As Byatt: nine tenths of the lawyou know...
Martin Amis: [burp]
Brett Easton ellis: aaaaarrrggghhh!
Umberto Eco: I don’t understand this either...
Gabriel Garcia Marquez: mi casa es su casa
Roddy Doyle: ha ha ha!
Salman Rushdie: names will live forever...