In My Mind Lyrics
In a future five years from now
I'm a hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hungover
Will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be.
In the far-away here-and-now
I've become in-control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Will be the picture of discipline
Never fucking-up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be.
When I'm old I am beautiful,
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
That I could be that person now
That that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
That I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't want to be the person that I want to be.
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
Saying, "I haven't finished yet,
I still have a tattoo to get,
It says, 'I'm living in the moment'".
That I could win this win-less fight
Maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I want to live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually
See
That I am exactly the person that I want to be.
I can't believe that there's only one comment on this song. This song is my life. So many times I get mixed up in the here and now, that I forget who I am, where I'm going, and what I am doing. I think this song is a message to say "Slow down, life isn't THAT serious. Nobody gets out alive. Take things day by day, and be proud of who you are." Thank you, Amanda. Thank you.
There's something bittersweet about this song and it's confusion. In my oppinion this is about someone who is on their own path and maybe wondering if they should have gone the usual route. It's easy to wonder if you're crazy for doing things your own way, if your life doesn't look like everyone elses. In the end she's proud of being an individual and being true to herself, not falling in line because everyone else does.
man, i love how she writes about her. She's so damn talented and she has the greater life ever. Amanda, you're great doing anything xd and you do whatever you want. Never change.
Amanda Palmer is a fantastic and thoughtful artist. This song, It's an expression of a kind of self-doubt that I think most adults experience.