As I Sat Sadly by Her Side Lyrics

As I sat sadly by her side
At the window, through the glass
She stroked a kitten in her lap
And we watched the world as it fell past
Softly she spoke these words to me
And with brand new eyes, open wide
We pressed our faces to the glass
As I sat sadly by her side

She said, "Father, mother, sister, brother,
Uncle, aunt, nephew, niece,
Soldier, sailor, physician, labourer,
Actor, scientist, mechanic, priest,
Earth and moon and sun and stars
Planets and comets with tails blazing
All are there forever falling
Falling lovely and amazing"

Then she smiled and turned to me
And waited for me to reply
Her hair was falling down her shoulders
As I sat sadly by her side

As I sat sadly by her side
The kitten she did gently pass
Over to me and again we pressed
Our different faces to the glass
"That may be very well" I said
"But watch the one falling in the street
See him gesture to his neighbors
See him trampled beneath their feet
All outward motion connects to nothing
For each is concerned with their immediate need
Witness the man reaching up from the gutter
See the other one stumbling on who cannot see"

With trembling hand I turned toward her
And pushed the hair out of her eyes
The kitten jumped back to her lap
As I sat sadly by her side

Then she drew the curtains down
And said, "When will you ever learn
That what happens there beyond the glass
Is simply none of your concern?
God has given you but one heart
You are not a home for the hearts of your brothers

And God does not care for your benevolence
Anymore than he cares for the lack of it in others
Nor does he care for you to sit
At windows in judgment of the world he created
While sorrows pile up around you
Ugly, useless, and over-inflated"

At which she turned her head away
Great tears leaping from her eyes
I could not wipe the smile from my face
As I sat sadly by her side
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Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

AD: "As I Sat Sadly By Her Side" is the first single taken from "No More Shall We Part". Can you tell us about the song and why it was chosen as the first release from the album?

Well, I just really like that song. It's got a bit of pace to it. Quite a few of the other songs were quite slow and we didn't want to do that again, really. So it does have a bit of pace to it. The song itself is a philosophic kind of discussion between two people, which happens to be myself and my wife looking out through a window at the nature of the world and of our internal worlds. She's seeing everything as wonderful and beautiful and I retort with the other side of the story about humanity and (in) the third verse she admonishes me for being such a miserable old bastard and that's pretty much what that song's all about.

http://www.atomicduster.com/interviews/nickcave05_01/nickcave.html

i think he wants to say that he has to concern about his own world.

Not Valid

This almost brought me to tears. What an honest song.

I think he's smiling at the end because he's just incredibly happy to be with her. That's exactly what I would have done...

Not Valid
Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Thank you so very much for posting this amazing song aj2828aj! I am not as familiar with the music of Mr. Cave as I plan to be. I saw the music video for this song and fell in love. Now that I have read the lyrics, I am only more enthralled. Mr. Cave speaks of a balance one can only hope to achieve. Yet he lends sympathy to those who dwell on the darker side, the outside. Those, like myself, who see the beauty and pain of this world and often become "ugly, useless, and over-inflated" for no damn good reason... smiling all the time.

Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I'm not sure why it's thought the the male in the song wins the argument. She has the last word, kitten in hand, and her point is quite right.

We are - each of us - trapped in our individual consciousness. We are to be judged (by god, others, the force, whatever) on what WE do in life, not what happens external to us.

""When will you ever learn That what happens there beyond the glass Is simply none of your concern? God has given you but one heart You are not a home for the hearts of your brothers"

The rights and wrong of other people's actions have no bearing at all on what we do in life. So long as your own actions are right, all is well.

"And God does not care for your benevolence Anymore than he cares for the lack of it in others"

Morality isn't about going out of your way to help others, it's about not doing wrong things or making bad decisions. Helping others is good, but it's not what's important.

"Nor does he care for you to sit At windows in judgment of the world he created"

In other words: get your own ship in order before looking over that of other people!

If anything she makes his argument look stupid. her tears are probably because he doesn't get it. His smile may be because actually he does. He's just enjoying being depressed. lol

Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I think everyone's got the "winner" and "loser" of the argument in this video reversed.

He's sitting above everything, looking down on it. He thinks he's better than everyone below. He sees everyone else as looking out for only themselves.

I hear sarcasm when she talks about his "benevolence." Then she talks about all the ugliness he lets pile up around him.

He's self-righteous and useless. He keeps himself apart. He only speaks of the evils of the world. And all the time, he does nothing to make the world any better.

But he doesn't hear her. He takes a macabre comfort from the pain and suffering of others. This is why he smiles as he sits sadly by her side. He can't even see that he's sitting in his own grave.

Song Meaning
Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I think the thing about the kitten is that it goes to the person who has the next thing to say. So she has it in her lap as she says her part, and it moves to him for his verse, and then goes to her again for her last verse. It's almost an indicator, showing the different retorts and who controls the debate.

Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

The narrator, not the woman is sick - depressed, and his lover is trying to reason with him, to bring him out of his depression.

Their world-views are contrasted in snapshot - she sees variety and purpose and beauty in the world, he sees pain and greed and meaningless suffering.

She gets upset and lashes out at him for letting himself be crushed by the weight of the world and wasting away his own life worrying about things beyond his control.

Finally she turns away in tears, and the narrator can't help taking perverse satisfaction in having provoked her and and dragged her into the mire with him.

This is my take on it at least. I know this dynamic all too well, it's what happens in a relationship when one party is depressed but indulginging in it and compelled to bring down his partner. The irony this song is about is how the one who thinks he is so sensitive can yet be so cruel and selfish.

I think the third verse, where she lashes out at him, is the crux of the song, and it's the lesson I take from it, every time I listen to it.

Before I read the interview with Cave as to the songs meaning, this is how it always struck me:

The narrator's wife has newly converted to Christianity (or any religion you care to mention), explained in the line "with brand new eyes open wide"; she's looking at the world with new eyes. "Reborn", one might say.

The next verse is her explaining all of the things to Cave/The Narrator God has created, and how 'lovely' and 'amazing' it (her God's creation) is.

The next small part is just her waiting for the rebuttal which will surely come from her grumpy husband (the hair-brushing gesture is quite intimate, I imagine she'd know him quite well).

Verse 4 is, of course, Cave's rebuttal; the world is not as beautiful a place as you think. Look at the people crying out for help and simply being ignored by those who COULD help. We're selfish animals, and even IF we notice the plight of others we're not likely to stop to help.

Next verse is just him brushing her hair from her eyes and the kitten moving back to her lap (it's like a hairy talking stick :P).

The last verse is the 'victory'; his wife loses her temper at him and gets all haughty. She insults him and the two sit quietly. He knows now that the religion is just an addition to her life, she's still the woman he married and, consequently, loved.

The refrain ("As I sat sadly by her side") would just be his sadness at her 'succumbing' to religion.

That is, this is what I thought until the interview. Close enough.

Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I think the woman in this song is quite naïve in that she believes that the universe is full of all of these people working together happily in unison and function.

Nick believes the universe is full of so many people that we can't help but step on each other as we try to succeed.

She tells him not to be so arrogant as to concern himself with all of the world's suffering.

So why is he smiling at the end where she cries?

Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

First of all, the dialogue reminds a bit of the end of the Book of Job in which Job finally protests against the things God made him go through, while God explains the incredible beauty of the world he created (the Leviathan, fathers, mothers etc).

After which, God somehow reinstates Job to a more happy state.

From my point of view, the final verse can be seen in two ways: she reproaches him the fact that he is judgemental, but at the last moment she is also judgemental ( Nor does he care for you to sit/At windows in judgement of the world He created/While sorrows pile up around you/Ugly, useless and over-inflated ), so she bursts into crying, while he smiles because of winning the argument. This makes sense, but it's a bit mundane.

The second way - it takes a lot of energy to be able to see the world the way she does and even more - to convince somebody of this worldview (energy draining which makes her cry). Seeing the world as he does is anyway useless and her determination to cure him (the one she loves) of piling up sorrows around him finally makes him smile (although he still sits sadly, the world in the background did not actually change). It's like a transfer of states from one to the other.

My Interpretation
Cover art for As I Sat Sadly by Her Side lyrics by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

There are hints in this song that the woman he is speaking to may be ill or dying, or perhaps that she has attempted suicide. For instance, he sits 'sadly by her side' as though sitting with someone very sick, and he brushes the hair from her face as though she were unable to do so herself. She is sitting looking out of a window with a kitten in her lap too, which makes her seem like an invalid.

I think this song has a rather nasty ending. When the woman becomes angry with the protagonist and tells him not to sit in judgment on the world and starts to cry he can't stop smiling - as though he knows he's convinced her that there is evil in the world and has somehow 'won' the conversation. In the context of her being sick or otherwise the weaker participant in the conversation this is a particularly black ending.

An absolutely amazing song, anyway.