Chubby's Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the first day of christmas, me girlfriend sucked me dick
I had to stop myself from coming really quick
On the second day of christmas she kissed me bollocks too
She gave me a blow job, you know the way the women do
On the third day of christmas I had my head between her legs
With my tounge I tried to fertilise her eggs
On the forth day of christmas her pubes were up me nose
By now you'll think I'm sex mad I suppose
First she sucked me dick
Kissed me bollocks too
Pubes were up me nose
I said "mind me cartilage, me pins are in my bare knee"
On the fifth day of christmas I stopped for a pause
I noticed these big skid marks on her draws
On the sixth day of christmas I thought She's very loose
Too late, my tounge was soaked in fanny juice
On the seventh day of christmas I was staring at this lass
Well I was staring at this paper stuck to her arse
On the eighth day of christmas I started to feel ill
On the paper it said Newcastle had lost two-nill
First she sucked me dick
Kissed me bollocks too
Pubes were up me nose
Skid marks on her draws
She stunk of fanny juice
Newspaper on her arse
I started to feel ill
To part a fart and lick a hairy place where the girls pee
On the ninth day of christmas, I'd been shagging for eight days
I must have fucked this girl a thousand different ways
On the tenth day of christmas without being too blunt
To be honest I'd had enough of her large cunt
On the eleventh day of christmas i went to see the quack
He said "my dear boy you've been licking too much crack"
First she sucked me dick
Kissed me bollocks too
Pubes were up me nose
Skid marks on her draws
Stunk of fanny juice
Newspaper on her arse
I started to feel ill
I'd been shagging for eight days
It's blunt to mention cunt
I'd been licking too much crack
But now my tart's frigid and that's a reality
On the twelfth day of christmas, found out she'd given me AIDS